Sunday, May 09, 2010

Weary

There are days when I feel like I am carrying the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. It was the one thing that people don't quite comprehend.

Maybe he felt I was always complaining. Maybe he felt I was always worrying. Maybe he felt powerless to help me.

I am a worrier by nature. I take on the whole world and then some. I am a nurturer. I take care of my patients with the extra bit of care. I look after my regs and nurses around me. I look after my brothers and parents. I try to take on responsibility after responsibility and pile on ambition after ambition. I do that little bit more extra. In everything I do. A lot of invisible work that does not lend itself to extra letters behind my name or any achievement on paper that satisfies colleges.

But that is the way I am. I do not do what I do for the sake of recognition or validation.

But there are days like this that I feel tired. I feel weary. I feel that if I were to take on just a little bit more, I might run myself to the ground. The last person I take care of is myself.

And thus, if ever there was a man to be found for me - I need someone who can care for me. Who can love me at my worst. Who can be the strong one. Enough for both of us because I will need a safe place when I need to crumble..

2 comments:

Mei said...

OMG... I soooo know what you mean. I wished I had someone who would stand by me, through thick or thin. Through rain and storm... and not merely the sun shiney days.

@ster said...

Well...here's to u and I both hopefully finding our happy ever after one day. =D